


Happenstance and all that

by gottalovev



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Coincidences, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exhaustion, Falling In Love, Flirting, Fluff, Holidays, M/M, Multilingual Character, Nightmares, Pancakes, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Steve and Tony deserve happiness, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-26 13:49:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13237044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gottalovev/pseuds/gottalovev
Summary: It's been six months since the Battle of New York and Tony is exhausted. The last thing he expected on Christmas' Eve was to meet Steve Rogers again by accident, in Central Park.





	Happenstance and all that

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cap Iron Man Community](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cap+Iron+Man+Community).



> A fill for the following 2017 Holiday Exchange: Community Prompts: After Avengers went their separate ways, Steve to DC, Tony to Malibu they never really expected to meet again any time soon but Steve and Tony meet in Central Park on Christmas Eve by accident and somehow they decided to spend the rest of the holiday season together. 
> 
>  
> 
> Disregards canon post Avengers (2012), save from the fact that Tony cannot sleep post-New York as shown in Iron Man 3.

Tony gets out of the taxi and is about to enter the Tower's lobby when he sees the gaggle of journalists waiting for him near the elevators. Damn, he doesn't have the energy to deal with that right now. Hours ago, he fended off a takeover tentative on one of Stark Industries' key subsidiary, a power play that came out of nowhere. Thankfully JARVIS raised an alarm when the stocks begun changing hands at a breakneck rate and Tony countered it. In the end he acquired enough shares of the disputed company to seize control himself to ensure that his supply chain had no risk of interruption. The board of director still needed reassurance, which is why Tony flew to New York for a special meeting where he, frankly, used up his last reserves dedicated to placating discourses. He won't perform for reporters as he ought to, not now.

He's exhausted. Tony's had trouble sleeping in... well in forever, it's never been easy even in college. Let alone in the years since Afghanistan. But the wormhole last May? Yeah, that really messed him up, and Pepper leaving him four months ago means he doesn't even try to curve the unhealthy work binges for her sake anymore. Tony almost passed out while flying Iron Man from Malibu to New York today, it's that bad. He ordered JARVIS to cut him off from the suit, which is why he can't summon it for a handy dandy escape from the journalists right now. Walking around the block to reach the garage's entry could be a solution, but he suspects there will be vultures there too. 

Tony pivots and goes back to the street where fortunately his cab driver hasn't left. The guy is too busy furiously typing on his phone, looking excited, which is probably due to the five hundred dollar tip Tony left him a minute ago. The driver had been polite and friendly, and his accent was a dead ringer for Yinsen's, which had made Tony curious. A ten blocks conversation later and Tony felt it was just fair to give this man's family a little extra for the Holidays. Azim is working his ass off and studying on top, hopefully it will allow him to spend time with his kids. 

The light on the taxi's roof is dark, marking the vehicle as unavailable, but Tony supposes Azim won't mind. He opens the door and slips in any way which makes Azim speak up, eyes on his phone still.

"I am sorry, I need two minutes."

"Take your time," Tony says, though he angles his head down and away hoping no journalist inside the Tower spots him. He's almost tempted to lie down on the bench, but it would be just like him to fall asleep right there.

Azim whips around, eyes round. Tony can read his surprise at discovering him back in the cab, but also how man's face falls a little.

"Oh Mister Stark, you must have realized-"

"I meant to leave you that tip," Tony reassures him. Poor guy, he thought he was coming back for it? "I just need to be elsewhere."

"Oh," Azim says, then smiles. "No problem! Where to?"

Tony nods towards the phone that keeps chirping in Azim's hands. "Finish your conversation while I think about it."

"Yes, thank you, only two minutes," he says with dorky little thumbs up, returning to his rapid texting.

Where to go now is an excellent question. He could ask for to the airport and have his jet prepared for a flight to Malibu. It's tempting, but that would mean he'd take a crew away from their Christmas Eve's plans which is shitty to do at the last minute. A hotel would work to crash for a couple of hours, but if there are pictures, Tony knows they will end in some gossip rag as if he's secretly meeting someone and cheating on Pepper. Blatantly untrue, of course, considering they broke up and he hasn't talked to a woman out of a professional setting since. Didn't even feel like it. When Azim turns to him, questioning, the address falls out of Tony's mouth without his conscious input. 

"890 Fifth Avenue."

The Stark family house, he hasn't been there in a long time. It will do, in a pinch. 

"Yes Mister Stark," Azim says, merging the car into the traffic.

"You didn't start your meter," Tony reminds Azim.

He receives a beaming smile through the rearview mirror.

"No worries, Mister Stark. Least I can do!"

It is a real nice but unnecessary gesture. This man earns his living driving this taxi and now he's missing on business because he wishes to give back to Tony who left him a merited tip.

"That's very kind of you, Azim, thank you," he says nonetheless, which makes Azim light up. 

Gratitude is precious, Tony learned that one through personal experience. He never does anything _for_ the recognition, but it's nice to have a good deed or gift acknowledged.

Tony fishes out his phone and asks JARVIS to investigate if Azim or his close relatives have student debts or unpaid medical bills. It's crass to say, but it won't make a dent in Tony's checkbook but should give a good boost to Azim. He sees it as a game of 'pay it forward' where it's his turn. 

"We did not talk about it earlier, Mister Stark, but do you have big plans for Christmas?"

"No." The Holiday season has creeped up on him to be honest. He'd told JARVIS to refuse all invites to parties or social events and had planned to work through it like he's done several times in the past. "If all goes well, what I really hope for is to sleep for three days straight."

Azim nods. "It is good you are taking vacations."

Tony almost replies 'I am not', but maybe he should. He knows he needs to stop working until he passes out because it's definitely not keeping the nightmares at bay.

"What about you?"

"The children are on vacations. We are planning to walk around and look at the lights this evening," Azim says. 

"Sounds great," Tony replies as the car stops at destination. He'd tip Azim again, but he'd probably decline the money, so Tony doesn't try. Anyway JARVIS is working on something better already. "Enjoy the time with your family, and thanks again for the ride!"

"Thank _you_ ," Azim insists. "Be well Mister Stark. Happy Holidays!"

"Happy Holidays," he replies by rote, stepping out and closing the door. 

Azim leaves and as Tony looks up at the Stark Mansion he wonders why the hell he thought this would be a nice place to come now of all times. He spent most of his childhood Christmases in here, but he can't recall more than a handful of good memories combining his family and the Holidays. The house is lit up and soberly decorated, and Tony knows he just has to walk in to find a ready bedroom and Rosa happy to see him. Guilt churns in his gut; he hasn't taken the time to visit his ex-nanny in months now, not since he was building the Tower with Pepper. 

He needs a moment to gather the last of his energy before he enters the mansion, so Tony turns around instead and crosses the street. It's only two dozen strides before he can slip in the park from the entrance on the 69th East. From there it's like being on automatic: first path left, then keep to the right at the fork, leading him directly to the statue on the little rock outcrop. Tony pauses, shoving his hands into his coat pockets and smiling up at the Balto statue.

"Hey pal, long time no see."

It wouldn't be exaggerated to say that Tony was obsessed with this dog and his story when he was five or so. Balto was the best husky sled dog to have ever existed, in his expert opinion. Making it through 674 miles of a blizzard to deliver an antitoxin needed to cure a diphtheria outbreak in an Alaskan village sure merited a statue. Tony notices from the corner of his eye that a man is jogging - fast at that - towards him so he steps forward, to clear the path. He doesn't expect for the man to slow down, then stop.

"Tony?"

Perplexed, he meets the man's eyes and blinks rapidly. Is he at the hallucinating phase of exhausted? Because this tall blond in a tracksuit sure looks a whole lot like Steve Rogers.

"Cap?"

Steve smiles as if he's actually glad to see him and extends a hand to shake that is boiling when Tony grabs it.

"Fancy meeting you here," Steve says. "Gosh, your hands are freezing."

"You're just hot," Tony says.

Meaning that Steve's evidently been exercising, but it's not a lie to suggest he's also very handsome. He cut his hair, and when dressed in black exercise gear like this instead of pleated khakis he looks younger. A lot more like his... what, 25 years of actual consciousness? Visibly Tony gave him a noticeable once over because Steve pinks up a little.

"High metabolism," he claims. "What are you doing here in fancy shoes?"

Tony glances down and yeah, that's not appropriate footwear for a snowy trail in Central Park. Neither is his trench coat, but its all he had at the Tower when he changed from a metal suit to a cloth one for the board meeting.

"As a kid, if I'd given the nanny the slip, nine out of ten times Jarvis knew to pick me up right here," Tony says, indicating the dog statue with a movement of his head. Steve's forehead bunches a little and Tony immediately understands his confusion. "The original Jarvis. He was our butler, slash Dad's assistant, slash my wrangler," he adds with a smile. God, Tony still misses him so much.

"Oh, right." Steve is side by side with him now, staring at Balto on his rock. "I begged my mom to come when they unveiled this statue. I'd heard that he'd be here, the dog."

That boggles the mind a little. It's one thing to know Steve was born in 1918 by reading a file and through movies and his dad's stories. But when he shares a memory like this, it's suddenly almost tangible.

"And?"

Steve shrugs. "I'd caught a cold, so she refused. I was seven and I think I sulked of a month. Poor Ma."

Tony can easily imagine a tiny Steve scowling and he empathizes with both the annoyed kid and the sensible mom who just wished to protect her frail son.

"It must have been frustrating, being sick all the time."

"Yeah," Steve says, then reads out loud the three words at the bottom of the statue's plaque, "Endurance. Fidelity. Intelligence." He nods approvingly. "I see it stayed with you."

For a second Tony cannot grasp what Steve means and when he thinks he does he frowns. Is that a compliment? Offered by Captain America? Yeah, he's probably hallucinating this. Tony hopes he didn't pass out in the snow somewhere. He has a feeling that a figment of his imagination in the form of Steve Rogers wouldn't stutter, looking sheepish. Or maybe it would.

"I've been meaning... what I said on the helicarrier-"

Tony interrupts with a wave. "Please, it's fine. I said a load of shit too so let's just forget it."

"But I was wrong," Steve insists.

"I was too," Tony says with a shrug. "It happens. Rarely, but it does."

He didn't even believe those insults he told Steve anyway, and he doesn't mind what Rogers said back then anymore either. Tony proved him wrong spectacularly in the end. He could do without the flashbacks, but Tony won't lie: when he closed his eyes after the bomb went off on the mother ship, it felt right. It would have been an acceptable way to go.

"So you live around here? I thought you stayed in the Tower."

"The house I grew in is close. Across the street," he points over his shoulder. "I'm mostly in Malibu these days, but thinking about coming back to the Tower." It would be nice to work with Bruce a bit. "What about you? Done with touring America?"

Steve smirks. "You're trying to tell me you haven't kept tabs on us?"

Tony laughs. "I thought about it, but no. Maybe - possibly - I'd get an alarm by JARVIS if something important popped up, but that's just being a concerned teammate."

"Of course, just that," Steve teases, smiling back. "I'm based in Washington. Missions for SHIELD, sometimes with Clint and Natasha."

"Keeping busy," Tony says with a nod. "Good for you. Watch out for Fury, though."

"His secrets have secrets?"

"Yeah." Tony is raked by an all body shiver and realizes he is freezing. Steve was running and stopped abruptly, he must be cold too. "If you're in Washington, how come we meet in Central Park?"

It earns him a wince. "Clint and Natasha are out of the country and I didn't feel like mingling with the rest SHIELD for the Holidays. I thought it would be better in New York, and I have an apartment in Brooklyn."

He's all by himself for his first Christmas out of the ice then. The invitation falls out of Tony's mouth.

"Why don't you come with me? We could get out of the cold, eat something. A little eggnog."

Steve raises his hands while shaking his head. "Oh, thank you but no, I am sure Miss Potts has-"

The unexpected pain is like a swift jab to the ribs, Tony tried so hard not to think about that. He's better, he doesn't miss her as much as he used to, but it doesn't mean it isn't a sore spot.

"Pepper is in California, probably with her new boyfriend," he says with a smile that if he's lucky isn't as shaky as it feels. He also hopes Happy made a move already and is not making a liar out of him.

"Oh," Steve breathes in reaction to the unexpected minefield he stumbled into. "Sorry, I didn't know."

Again Tony waves it off. "I'm glad to hear that, in fact. We're trying to keep it out of the press, so it doesn't hurt the company. We'll make it public after the new StarkPhone comes out and we're breaking sales records." The forehead bunching reappears on Steve's face and Tony chuckles. "Yeah, not their business, but it seems the stock exchange cares if I have a steadying influence in my life."

"It's stupid," Steve declares. He looks offended on his behalf, which is sweet.

"I can't say they are completely wrong," Tony admits. "So... you're plenty free to continue your run, but the offer to join me is genuine."

Steve bites at his lips looking at Tony, then nods with a smile. "Okay then. If it's not a bother."

"Of course not," Tony replies, more pleased by the idea to have Steve around for a little bit than he expected.

As a kid, Tony never left Balto's statue before having touched its ears. But with the ice and snow, plus his leather shoes, there's a high risk he'd break his face climbing the rocks. He substitutes the ear rub by stroking the head of the lead figure in the dog team etched on the plaque. Tony then turns around and heads out of the park, Steve by his side.

Maybe he should have called in advance at the house though? It's technically his to use any time he wants, but it doesn't mean he should surprise Rosa like that. She's not as young as she used to be, and he constantly worries he will stress her out.

"Jay, ring Rosa for me please," Tony asks as he brings his phone to his ear.

"Yes, Sir. For your information, I took the liberty to warn her of your arrival, before your impromptu walk in the park."

Tony is grateful that JARVIS thought of that. He always has his back.

"Thanks buddy."

"My pleasure, Sir. Calling Mrs. Arroyo."

"Hello?"

"Hey Rosa, it's me," Tony says.

"Antonio! Where are you? You did not change your mind did you?" It sounds as if she'd be disheartened if he had, and once more Tony feels guilty that he hasn't visited in so long.

"No, I'll be there in a minute," he reassures. "And I met a friend in the park, he's coming too."

"You did not find a stray again, did you boy?" Rosa chides.

By his side Steve huffs, amused. Super-hearing allowed him to hear that and Tony grins at him. "Almost. Looks like a big golden retriever, you'll like him."

Steve rolls his eyes, but doesn't lose the smile.

"Antonio," Rosa says with a heavy sigh, making Tony laugh. They are out on the 5th Avenue's sidewalk now, walking to the house, and he sees Rosa open the door and glance their way, handheld phone to her ear. He waves at her cheerfully and she beams at him, then waves back. "Ah, you silly boy! Oh, my, what a handsome young man! You always know how to choose them, Chiquito."

Tony snorts and winks at a suddenly blushing Steve, who of course heard that too.

"Steve's not that kind of friend, Mima," he says. "Go inside, it's cold."

"You're one to talk, walking around in summer clothes," Rosa answers while making up and down gestures at his attire, but she closes the door.

"See you in a minute," Tony says before hanging up. "Don't mind Rosa, she likes to fuss. It makes her happy, but she'll let us be after we're fed and watered."

"She sounds nice?" Steve says hesitantly.

Tony laugh again as they climb the stairs to the house, the door opening as soon as they reach it. He's all but hauled inside by the front of his coat, Rosa patting the snow away while grumbling about catching his death under her breath.

"Antonio, what were you thinking!" she says, indignant when she spots his wet shoes.

"It's good to see you Mima," he says fondly. Rosa stops her inspection to grab his head, pulls him down - she's five foot nothing, maybe less now with age - and smacks loud kisses to his cheeks.

"My silly, silly Chiquito," she is saying, not letting him go, forehead on his.

He puts his hands over hers and his eyes are stinging. God he's missed her. She hasn't changed much since he last saw her: her wrinkles might be more pronounced, but it's the same white hair and kind brown eyes. Tony avoids coming to the mansion on the account that it contains too many bitter memories, but also because he wishes to spare Rosa the trouble of attending to him when he's in New York. She's pushing eighty years old now and should be retired (which she refuses, every time he suggests it). If Tony stays away, she has the house for herself and her son Hector who took over the landscaping and general maintenance on the property. It's less work for her.

"Te extrañé Mima. Lamento que haya pasado tanto tiempo," he confesses.

"Trabajas demasiado, Querido. Siempre estoy feliz de verte," she replies, kissing him on the forehead.

She then turns curiously towards Steve, who has closed the front door and is shifting from one foot to the other. She huffs at the light working out gear and sneakers in his feet.

"I see your friend doesn't have much more sense."

Tony laughs. "I think he's worse. Mima, this is Steve Rogers. You might have noticed him on the news in his spangly Captain America outfit. Steve, my Mima, Rosa Arroyo. She's in charge here at the house."

Steve seems almost embarrassed that Tony mentioned Captain America for some reason.

"Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Arroyo," he says.

Tony sees him extend a hand to take hers, but she slips under his guard and Steve gets one of Rosa's surprisingly strong hugs for his trouble.

"Thank you, Mister America, for fighting those nasty aliens with my Antonio," she says, devastatingly sincere as she embraces him. She barely reaches his mid torso, but always had a hell of a grip.

Tony laughs at the name and at the way Steve blushes, throwing Tony a slightly alarmed look because he doesn't know what to do with his new fan.

"Call me Steve, please!"

"As you wish Steve. Did you see my Antonio save New York?" she asks, and now it's Tony who is uncomfortable.

"Mima..." he protests.

But Steve smiles down at her. "I sure did. He was very brave."

It shouldn't be so heartwarming. After all Steve praised him in post-battle interviews, so it's not like it's the first time Tony hears about how he did well with the bomb. But it's possible that he unconsciously feared it was just public relations at work. That Steve might have found pertinent to applaud his action for the Team's benefit only. Hoping he isn't blushing - or at least that his cheeks are still red enough from the cold that it doesn't show - Tony hangs up his coat and toes off his shoes.

"Could we not talk about this?" Not only it's awkward if Rosa continues laying it thick, Tony doesn't need to be reminded of it the wormhole he wishes to sleep anytime soon.

"Bueno," Rosa says, patting his arm in a placating matter. "You boys must be hungry," she adds, already walking towards the kitchen.

"Nothing complicated." Tony hopes she won't go on a frenzy and make all of his favorite food. He generally calls in advance and ends up mentioning that he has missed this or that so Rosa can focus on one dish.

"I always have food ready for you, Chiquito. The problem is that you don't come and eat it," she chides.

"Mima," he whines, plaintive. "I told you to stop that. I'm in Malibu most of the time, or the Tower, you know that."

Steve is following silently after taking off his sneakers and his light track jacket. He only has a tight blue t-shirt underneath, the freak. It looks extremely good on him of course.

"And then you are not, and here instead," she declares, flapping her hand as if his appearance validates her (which it does, dammit).

"I enjoy cooking, _you_ know that," she adds. "And Hector brings it to the orphanage you like, with the babies, before it goes bad."

Which is a good idea, and he feels a lot better about it. Those kids must love Rosa's food. In fact everyone loves it because it's always delicious. She points them to the fridge, and promptly leaves, presumably to make sure his room is extra perfect. Tony looks at the various meal choices and not ten minutes later, Steve and him are stuffing their faces with reheated homemade macaroni and cheese.

"Sorry kiddos," Tony says as he takes a second helping. 

He dumps a mountain more in Steve's plate, who holds his fork poised over the cheesy goodness for a moment, looking conflicted at taking food out of orphans mouths.

"I always arrange for a special Christmas dinner," Tony reassures him. "They won't know what they missed."

"Thank God," Steve says, possessively pulling his plate close to himself as if he's ready to fight for it. "This is fantastic."

"I know, right? I'm glad I didn't manage to drive her away," Tony says, shoveling a forkful in his mouth.

"Please, that woman adores you," Steve says between two bites.

Tony winks at him. "Well that's the trick: keeping them on the payroll long enough for the good ones to get attached. I'm working on it for the Avengers, give me a year or so."

It's a joke, even though frankly it's pretty much how he formed most of his meaningful relationships. Unfortunately Steve still takes what comes of Tony's mouth too literally and he frowns.

"You don't need to pay for us-"

"I know, I know," Tony interrupts. "It's a joke. But I like designing gear for the Team. I should show you in fact. I've had ideas, like a suit for you-

"Tony..." Steve tries to cut in at his turn.

"-that has less bright spandex and is more utilitarian," Tony finishes.

Steve blinks as the words register. "Oh thank God," he says with feeling. "Thank you."

Tony laughs, getting up to investigate the refrigerator again. Yes, there's eggnog that just needs to be mixed with alcohol, perfect. He fills two glass with the mix, and figures he can take the rest of the carton with them.

"I can't promise that it won't flatter your... assets," he chooses, teasing but hopefully Steve won't mind. "That would be a crime the American people would never pardon me. But trust me, it's better."

"I'm counting on you," Steve says, scraping the bottom of his plate clean. God, he almost inhaled that macaroni.

"Have you been eating right?" Tony asks, concerned. "There's more if you want."

"I'm fine, thanks," Steve says. He looks a little embarrassed. "It's just very good."

"Yeah," Tony agrees, and puts their plates in the dishwasher. "Rosa's the best. Want to see if there's something on television? I could probably patch JARVIS through without too much trouble if there's not."

"He's not in here?" Steve asks, following Tony with his glass off eggnog to the small sitting room. It has a decent size TV and won't be too spacious for only two people like the main lounge.

"No, I don't spend enough time here."

"It's a beautiful house," Steve remarks.

Tony wrinkles his nose. "Sure."

He has a love-hate relationship with the mansion, but doesn't feel like getting into that. Tony spikes their eggnog with dark rum, reasonably in his opinion, and sits down. He chooses the two place sofa facing the television, and he expects Steve to pick the armchair but he sits by his side instead.

"Cheers," Steve says, clinking their glasses together.

"Cheers," Tony repeats. "To Holidays hopefully not sucking too much."

Steve snort-laughs. "I'll drink to that. Thanks for inviting me."

"My pleasure," Tony says with a wink. "Happenstance and all that."

He browses through the multitude of channels and sees that National Lampoon Christmas Vacation is starting. It's a Holiday classic for a reason, and Tony figures that laughing at the Griswold's antics should help him to stay awake. It does, at least at first, and Tony decides that the best part is seeing Steve genuinely enjoying the movie. It's uncomplicated humor, after all, pretty timeless and mostly slapstick, if often a little crass. Steve is reserved at first, but by the time the family has hiked to find the perfect tree, he's guffawing at pretty much everything. It makes Tony realize that he's never seen Steve laugh before. Unsurprisingly it's as devastating beautiful than the smile he got after he woke up at the end of the Battle of New York.

It takes a substantial effort to stop gazing at Steve and turn back to the movie. Tony remembers laughing until he cried when he watched it for the first time with Jim, at the Rhodes' family home in Philadelphia. They even had woken up his parents with all the laughter. It's one of Tony's best Christmas memories, with his chosen family instead of the blood one, which is not surprising at all. He's glad that the movie seems to be putting a little cheer in Steve's Holidays. Tony gets comfortable, reclining his seat to prop up his feet, and it's not long before he's opening his eyes, surprised that he closed them at all. It's a constant battle after that, his eyes drifting shut even if he's trying his best to remain awake. One of his last conscious thought is that he shouldn't have eaten that much.

 

**  


 

_He just needs a little more time, slightly more power, he can't let them nuke New York. The bomb clinks against the armor, and he pushes and pushes and there's the wormhole. Just a little, a bit more... His boots hit the tower, but he's got it, he's flying directly towards the hole in the sky. Pepper is not answering his call and abruptly he's in space, in nothingness. It's black, so vast, so full of nothing but also of brimming with stars, with the enemy, so many of them. JARVIS' voice is cutting, the HUD goes dark, and he's alone, all alone, he almost doesn't want to let go of the bomb-_

"Shhhhh. It's okay."

Tony gasps awake, totally disoriented. He's not getting oxygen properly, like in the suit, it wasn't made for space. Here it's bright, though, not dark, and someone is talking soothingly.

"You're safe, Tony, calm down-"

The air is still not coming but Tony raises a shaky palm towards the voice, and oh, oh, it's Steve. Something unclenches in his gut, at least a little, because Steve is not a threat. If he claims it's fine, it must be. Tony lets his arm drop and rubs at his chest with the other one, and palms the arc reactor to make sure it's there. He can't get his lungs to function properly.

"Yeah, that's it. It's just me, we're in your house on the 5th Avenue, nothing to worry about," Steve says, easy and slow, as if this is perfectly normal.

Situation awareness comes back in a rush, followed by mortification. Shit, way to make a fool out of himself. Tony wants a hole to appear on the ground this time so he can disappear in it. He'd joke, but he can't right now, not when the memories are still so raw. Instead he straightens up his seat and covers his face while bending down so he's lying on his thighs, the back of his hands against his knees. Fuck, this is bad; he'd hate that anyone saw him like that, but even more Steve. What is he thinking? He'll cut him from of the Team.

"It it okay if I touch you?" Steve is asking, still matter of fact and non-threatening. Tony wants to object, but Steve starts rubbing tight little circles between his shoulder blades and it's so soothing that tears fill his eyes. Oh God no, please no, he doesn't want to cry on top. "Just shake me off if it bothers you, okay?"

Tony shakes his head no because it helps. His breathing is getting easier, for one.

"Good. Go slow, don't rush it."

"So that's embarrassing," Tony murmurs to himself after a few minutes and he is able to string words together.

"No it's not," Steve replies, still rubbing his back as if he's a child. It makes Tony snort in disbelief. "Then I'm embarrassing myself at least twice a week," he adds.

Captain America has nightmares that lead to panic attacks? Tony turns his head to the side, enough to look up at him with one eye. Steve looks quite serious. Maybe he won't bench him after all.

"Really?"

Steve shrugs. "Used to be more often than that," he says. "I hate it too, but shell shock isn't shameful."

"No," Tony admits. If someone has legit reasons to suffer from PTSD, it's Steve Rogers.

"Happens often?" Steve asks, looking back at the TV. Tony thinks that if he doesn't answer, Steve won't insist.

"Too much," Tony admits with a sigh. He keeps to himself that it's almost every time he tries to sleep. "I'm so fucking tired."

At least he's breathing normally now. With regret he sits up, dislodging Steve's hand, and then leans back in his seat again. In the movie, Clark is investigating the lights for his house and it makes Tony smile reflexively.

"God I love that part," he admits.

Steve smiles at him. "Yeah?"

"My favorite scene is coming up."

He gets caught into the back and forth as Clark and his wife test the lights. When the big illumination happens, Tony's chucking as the douchebags next door get blinded and everything that follows. Steve laughs heartily too, and Tony finally relaxes. Such a stupid movie, but visibly everything he needs right now. To his complete surprise, his eyes are closing again and Steve notices.

"Sleep," he says. "It's alright."

Falling asleep by accident is one thing, but he'd be a real shitty host to do it now. "But you-"

"I'm fine Tony. I'll finish this-"

"Stay?" Tony hates that it comes out needy. "You know Rosa made you a room, she'd be insulted if you left." There, that's better.

"Can't have that, then. I'll stay," Steve agrees with a smile. "Push your seat back again," he demands, doing the same.

Tony does and he's surprised when Steve hauls Tony close to rest against his chest, an arm around his shoulders. Steve has bent his other arm behind his neck, and looks totally at ease, eyes dancing with humor.

"Not too forward?" he asks.

"I'm all for cuddling, Captain," Tony replies with a grin of his own, making himself comfortable.

Heck, that's a one in a lifetime opportunity, for sure, and he won't let it pass. Those pecs make an excellent pillow, and he feels like purring when Steve's fingers slip into his hair, scratching his scalp.

"Sleep. I'll shake you if I think you're having a bad dream again."

"Thank you," Tony says, following with a huge yawn.

Steve is putting off heat like a space heater and Tony wiggles closer, throwing an arm over his chest. He should take a moment to savor this; it's been a while since he's been warm, comfortable, with a full stomach and feeling so safe. Even though he tries to make it to the end of the movie, occasionally shaken by Steve chuckling, he drops asleep before the credits.

 

***

 

He wakes up to his pillow rumbling, which strikes him as weird. Until Tony realizes his head is still on Steve's shoulder, who is snoring slightly. Nothing undignified, of course not, while Tony might have drooled a little on his shirt, dammit. The television is off, and to Tony's surprise the sun has risen outside, which means he made it through the night without anymore nightmares. He hasn't had that much uninterrupted sleep in months.

It's not completely comfortable; Tony's shoulder is sore from sleeping on it without moving. Oh and being in his clothes plastered to a very hot - in every way - Super Soldier has left him a bit sweaty. But the feeling of safety is still there, and the view is frankly spectacular. Steve's fallen asleep with his head bent towards Tony, features relaxed and soft, and he's gorgeous. The way his golden eyelashes fan out almost makes Tony wish he was an artist or a poet, he's that ridiculously beautiful. He can't resist reaching up and pushing a strand of hair off Steve's forehead. His breathing changes instantly and Tony curses himself from having woken him up. He carefully puts his arm where it was before as Steve opens his so very blue eyes slowly. Tony was holding his breath, but when Steve smiles at him softly it's like all the oxygen has vanished again.

"Hey," Steve rasps out.

"Merry Christmas," Tony replies just as quietly.

Steve's smile widens. "Yeah. Merry Christmas."

Tony is suddenly blindsided by an intense desire to kiss Steve, which he thankfully reigns in. Trying to make it as natural as possible, Tony rolls away instead and stretches wondering what the hell that was. Yes, Steve is gorgeous, and he's kissed people for that reason alone, but the warm feeling in his chest isn't just lust which is worrying. He can't start falling for his team leader just because he was compassionate about a nightmare, that's preposterous. Of course there's the rest of him, a living legend that kind of lives up to the legend, as he told Loki. But it's still a ridiculous idea, Steve can't be interested even though he initiated the cuddling. He's saved from the thoughts spinning around in his head by Rosa, who appears in the doorway.

"Antonio!" she exclaims, tiny fists on her hips. "I had your room ready!"

He grins at her. "Sorry Mima. We fell asleep watching a movie."

Rosa shakes her head. "Incorregible."

Tony gets up and walks to Rosa, then picks her up in a bear hug. It's so easy, she's light and frail as a bird, and he kisses her cheek as she laughs and squeaks. "Feliz Navidad abuela."

There, that should remove the kissing urges from his system. He receives a smacking one to the cheek right back as he puts Rosa down on the floor. "Feliz Navidad Chiquito."

She's smiling widely, cheeks adorably pink, and turns to Steve. "Merry Christmas Steve!"

He looks amused at their antics. "Merry Christmas Mrs. Arroyo."

"Rosa, please," she protests. "Do you like pancakes? Antonio likes pancakes a lot. I mixed batter last night."

"I love pancakes," Steve says, nodding.

"Only fools don't like pancakes," Tony declares. He links his arm with Rosa's and starts walking towards the kitchen. "And yours are the best Mima. Come on, Steve."

If it's true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, Tony is half convinced that Steve will propose to Rosa by the end of the day. The man _loves_ Rosa's pancake almost as much as she is enchanted to find out how much of an appetite he has. Tony leans back and watches the show, sipping his coffee as Rosa uses four different cast iron skillets to produce more and more golden goodness, that Steve promptly demolishes. He tries various toppings at first, but always goes back to maple sirup.

As it happened in the park, the invitation falls out of his mouth.

"Stay with us," he says. Steve looks up at him, cheek bulging like a chipmunk, not getting it. Tony precises his thought, which might have come unbidden but now seems like the best idea ever. "For the week. Stay with us, here, for the Holidays."

Rosa gasps, "what a marvelous idea Antonio!"

She must be thrilled Tony's not planning to go leave today himself, which frankly had been the plan when he had Azim drop him here.

"But-" Steve is looking from him to Rosa and back, eyes a little wide. "I can't impo-"

"Don't even finish that word," Tony interrupts. "We'll help Rosa, it will be fun."

He can't let Steve go back to his apartment all by himself, it would be cruel. And Tony doesn't want to be alone either although he knows he's lucky to have his Mima and should enjoy it while he can.

His last sentence earns him an affronted light tap to the arm by the lady herself. "I can do my job, Chiquito!"

He laughs. "Of course you can Mima!" Tony mouths _please?_ over her head and Steve stops gaping and finally smiles.

"All right. Only if I can help, though," he puts as a condition.

Rosa huffs, but she can't look grumpy for long, she's too delighted.

"Fine!" she relents, grinning. "I'll make a list! Will you go to the grocery store Antonio?"

"I told you to call JARVIS to have food delivered, Mima," Tony says.

"¿JARVIS puede elegir tomates maduros? Creo que no," she counters.

"They do that at the store, Mima. I swear they deliver really good tomatoes. Especially with the tip I leave." She crosses her arms, and he relents. "Okay, fine, we'll go to the grocery store."

"Are they even opened?" Steve asks.

"Good question."

A quick check reveals that most grocery stores are closed, but Tony makes a deal with Rosa. For today, they'll make do with what she already prepared. The refrigerator is full, after all, and she has more food in the freezer. Tomorrow they'll brave the stores.

Later, in a needed shower, Tony starts second guessing himself. He worries that he might have been too enthusiastic with his offer. They had a nice evening and breakfast - a good night too, his traitorous mind pipes up - but what if they fight again? A week is a long time. Tony might even get that kissing urge again and ruin everything. But rescinding his invitation would be shitty to Steve, plus it would break Rosa's heart, she's been humming and bouncing since he offered. Tony guesses they'll have to take it one day at a time. 

After his shower, Tony's in the middle of a meticulous shave when he starts to freak out again. He's preening, goddamnit. He wants to look good, and that means he's hoping that Steve will notice and that's decidedly a slippery slope. If there's one thing that he wishes to avoid for a long time - he paid his due this year, thank you very much - it's heartbreak. No, he must be careful. Keep his emotions in check. He can do friends, no problem. Heck, he had a crush on Rhodey at first and that turned out okay. Tony ends up slipping into jeans and a warm red sweater that Rosa has put out for him on the dresser, as if still needs her help to choose his clothes. After a last check of his hair, Tony resolves that he's ready to face this week with Steve head's on.

The front door bell rings, most probably the Stark Industries employee who brought around the four-wheel-drive Audi as he requested to JARVIS. They need to go to Steve's place, for his clothes and all. He offered to take Steve shopping down the street, but it almost made him balk on the whole thing. No matter what some people say, Tony can choose his battles. Going down the stairs to the entryway, Tony almost trips when Steve looks up at him and... lights up, as if he missed seeing him in the last twenty minutes. Sweet baby Jesus is trying to kill him on his birthday or something.

"Can I drive?" Steve asks, twirling the key on his index.

Tony barely lets his actual driver do it, but it's Christmas. And it's Steve. "Sure."

"Rosa says you need to put this on," Steve says. It's a pair of winter boots and a puffy coat that will make him look like the Michelin's Bib that she found somewhere. He's about to protest when Steve adds, "I agree. Come on, it's a beautiful day but it's cold."

"Why do I have the feeling you will force me to spend time outside?" Tony grumbles for show, putting on the boots. He has to admit it's a lot more appropriate for the weather than his leather shoes.

"You bet I will," Steve says, cheerful.

It's okay, Tony has a couple of ideas among these lines too, like skating and other stuff that he will not think of at dates. No sir.

He's about to put on the hideous coat when Steve touches his arm. Tony looks up in question, surprised that he's so close and Steve smiles sheepishly.

"Sorry, it looked soft. I wanted to check."

Tony bites his tongue not tell Steve he can touch all he wants. "Cashmere," he breathes out.

"Of course," Steve grins, letting his hand fall. He steps around him and opens the door, then briefly turns to add with a shyer smile, "red is really your color."

Was that flirting? Tony is left gaping at Steve's back, heart hammering in his chest. It certainly felt like it. Not quite daring to hope, he follows Steve out, ready for anything.

 

(Their week is spent making food with Rosa then eating too much, watching movies, and playing way too competitively at cards and board games (it will go in the future Avenger charter that Monopoly is prohibited forever). Oh, and more outdoorsy stuff that Tony has done in the last ten years combined. Tony also irrevocably falls in love with every joke, smile and kindness, and maybe even faster when Steve is a sassy asshole. When, in the middle of Times Square, Steve tips Tony's chin up after the ball drops and kisses him, it's the perfect ending to the best Holidays he's ever had.)

 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me if the Spanish in the fic has errors, it's been too long since I used mine. Please do not hesitate to correct me in comments if needed, I'll fix it. 
> 
> As of right now:
> 
> "Te extrañé Mima. Lamento que haya pasado tanto tiempo." = I missed you Mima. I'm sorry it's been so long.
> 
> "Trabajas demasiado, querido. Siempre estoy feliz de verte." = You work too much, my dear. I'm always happy to see you.
> 
> "¿JARVIS puede elegir tomates maduros? Creo que no." Can JARVIS choose ripe tomatoes? I think not.
> 
> Abuela - Mima = Grandma
> 
> Chiquito = pet name for a small boy
> 
> Feliz Navidad = Merry Christmas
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this fluff and I didn't induce too many cavities! 
> 
> Happy Holidays everyone! =D


End file.
